From the moment we met there’s an us but the love didn’t choose us.
 The unexpected love comes before my birthday. I met a guy somewhere near my zone. He’s been there 6 years ago but I don’t see him many times. He asks me to become his lover and we will be together so I said Yes. I give a chance and hoping to be working on a relationship. That day I said yes before my birthday I considered him as a wonderful gift on my birthday. Yes, I’m a lucky girl at that moment! The feel of being in love every day is the best feeling ever. “ I wish it was never-ending” we exchange sweet messages that every couple does. Sharing your goals talk about the future and anything. You feel inspired always. so, a person, of course, I already fall in love with him. “Yeah, I’m the Marupok one!” Until one day after we met everything change. After we met he didn”t send me a message anymore until I decide to wait and talk to him what’s going on? Then the hurtful moment comes. The person that you love decided to fall apart. He\’s said he\’s not ready for commitment and he tells me that I deserve to someone else. Everything screwed up but I don’t have a choice I need to accept it. It’s hard on my part because I fell in love with him but he thinks we\’re not compatible. So I let him go because I’m not that kind of person to pleasing someone to stay for loving me. Yes, It’s fine I’m totally fine but it breaks my heart.
 Okay, so I don’t want to end this drama confession. Despite this happen I decide myself stop to feel grieve. I don’t want to see myself suffering things that make me feel bitterness all day even though my heart is not okay as of this moment. I’ve learned a lot of things that can make me grow as a person.
 Don’t rush things especially when you asking for someone who loves you back. We seek love because we feel alone but it doesn’t mean when you meet someone he’s the one. Well, he is!. Not all in a rush it can be successful but most of the time it became failure so stop rushing things it ends you toxic. 
 Love is not doing a favor. It\’s a kind of magic that no one can explain how it can be work so stop seeking and destroying someone’s life just to get your intentions. If you\’re not sure about your feelings think. Always think, always follow your heart that makes you feel happy stop hurting someone else stop begging if you don’t love you back. Learn to wait and always choose yourself.
  Just breathe and let it go but we all know this is the hardest thing to do. but in the cruel reality, this is the best thing to do. It’s for your own good Yeah I know your a fragile like me but doing this thing it can make you feel happy and free so start doing it “SELF!!”
 Okay, my last part of my e- speech. To the person who gave love with me in a very short time, I just wanna say thank you for sharing your love but it didn’t last. Don’t worry I’m not mad for what you did because I know you already did your part but it won\’t work. You chose career over me and I’m okay with that. I know you have goals in life and I’m not part of it so I don’t want to destroy it. The love didn\’t choose us. but I\’m happy I had a great time with you so this is it IT’S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE MY OLD SWEET LOVER and Thank you for your time. I wish you all the best!
If stars would align once more, I probably wouldn’t take it as a sign for love. I’ll stop my tracks before I reach the destination for a new heartbreak. I’ll just stand by a lamppost and take the first bus that comes, let it bring me to a place I’ve never been before. I’ll travel over mountaintops nobody’s eyes have ever laid upon, deep waters nobody has ever swam about, through galaxies, new moons and undiscovered stars. And perhaps, in that unfamiliar town heartbreaks don\’t exist, pain won’t catch up because I’ll never tell anyone of my whereabouts.
Who knew exhaustion can reach another level of tiring? You can only take so much of yourself before there’s nothing left. And sometimes we love and get lost, and we try our best to find ourselves but never succeed. You ask your questions over and over until they stop making sense. When did I stop being enough? How dare I believe you when you said you cared? You came with all your baggage and left me carrying it all. You used to tell me stories of your childhood, now you tell them to someone else. You gave my life meaning then take them all away. How dare I think that you’ll always need me, ask for me and want only me? How dare I become so stupid for you?
Reflection words by Peter Valadon
IG: @peetorpan
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53 Comments

  1. I'm sorry you had to go through this. It's so painful in the moment but down the line, you'll look back and be grateful that you were free to find that person who really fits you, not just the person you wished would be able to.

  2. I'm so sorry you experienced this! Those moments when we realize they aren't for us are really difficult. You made the right choice, not to become desperate to try and make them stay. You will find the person who is truly for you!

  3. I am so sorry you had to go through this!!! Take time to heal and become stronger, you will be okay, no you will be much better than okay!!!

  4. Sorry to hear this but consider it as a blessing since you don't really have to spend a lot of time with the wrong person. Let go and just be open. Your one great love will find you soon.

  5. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Heartbreak is so hard and painful. My thoughts and love are with you. Things will get better. In the meantime, I hope you have lots of support and love by your side as you navigate through this.

  6. We've all been in this situation at one point or another in our lives. It can be a very tough time, but tough times never last, only tough people do.

  7. This is such a beautiful, painful read. Break ups are hard. They can be debilitating at times, but they're a painful step on the path to finding true happiness.

  8. Sometimes people meet at the wrong stage of their life. Sometimes, they're just not the right match for long-term. After I experienced a rough breakup like yours, I remained open to meeting someone that would feel like the 'right time' and I met him a few months later!

  9. Sorry for all you went through but what a relatable post this is. Not everything can go our way, but it doesn't mean it's not how it's supposed to be- Sienna <3

  10. After my first marriage fell apart I felt like it was all my fault, even though now I realize that it was HIM. He stepped out and I worked hard to pick up the pieces and unfortunately it just wasn't enough. I now realize that you need to be partners and work together. And if that isn't what you have then it's time to move away. I'm so sorry for your heartache but I see good things for you in your future my friend.

  11. It might be hard right now but it will be fine later on. You’re such a brave lady sharing your experience that in a way will help you to ease the pain. Always think that better person will come along .

  12. i applaud you for being so open about your story. i too had a second chance to be with a man i loved. funny he broke up with me again the day before my birthday so when you mentioned your birthday i chuckled. the better person is coming, yes? 🙂

  13. Reading through your story shows me how brave and amazing you are. I know it hard to go through the pains of heart break, but one thing I am sure of is that it will be alright. Be optimistic and live your life and love will surely be yours again

  14. We all have those moments. I'm sorry for the heartbreak. I also had this experience before so I can relate. I really believe that you can only take so much of yourself before there's nothing left.

  15. This was a beautifully written post. It reminded me of a novel and I want to know what happens next. I hope you find the happiness you want.

  16. Beautiful one, as the saying goes, \”What doesn't break you makes you stronger.\” As a 3x married vieja, believe Babushka when she says to be open to a relationship that compliments not \”completes\” you. You are complete as you are, by yourself. When you feel that, then that is the moment to allow amor in.

  17. Dear, everything in this world is changing. Although it is sad you had to feel this way but take it as an armor to become more stronger. Everyone experience it one point in their lifetime. Yes, you can grieve but don't take too long holding on grieving. The sun is there waiting to shine for you and soon the one who is for you will come. Hugs!

  18. Everyone will experience this kind of relationship. We have to love ourselves first than anyone else. You just have to enjoy life and wait for the right person to come.

  19. I felt so frustrated reading that!. But it truly means that he was not the one nor did he deserve your time or attention! A kind and sweet guy will come your way and in the future you may even be happy things unfolded the way they did 🙂

  20. Love can taught us a lot of things and if it doesn't work out, I believe there's another person who's really meant for your life. I hope you are better now because you are an amazing person!

  21. Breakups are always really tought at first, but overtime they get easier. It's great that after awhile you knew that you had to let go and move forward. I am sorry you had to go through this, but just know that there is more love for you in the near future. One that will last forever! Keep staying positive.

  22. I wish I was brave enough to give myself closure like this to literally be ok with missing someone without wanting them back. I would have saved myself a lot of heartache in my younger days. Kudos to you for recognizing this and writing this touching piece. Writing it down gives it its own meaning. And a few years from now, you won't remember it like this at all. Good luck.

  23. I am so sorry that you had to go through this relationship. I know it is cliche, but it will make you stronger and their is someone out there that is better suited for you.

  24. Break ups are the hardest thing to suffer through. I'd rather take surgery or a bullet than the pain of losing someone I have fallen so hard in love with. I've had many relationships in my life. And each one left a mark in some way. But each mark that was left behind, built a strength in me as well. I hope you come back stronger than ever. And eventually find someone or something that will provide lasting love and peace.

  25. Ahh, your story sounds all too familiar. I also went through a time in my life where the men I met were afraid of commitment. Eventually I decided not to focus on having a relationship but to just have fun being single. Not long after I met the love of my life and 15 years later we are still going strong. Your love is out there too, it's all about the timing

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