From the moment we met there’s an us but the love didn’t choose us.
The unexpected love comes before my birthday. I met a guy somewhere near my zone. He’s been there 6 years ago but I don’t see him many times. He asks me to become his lover and we will be together so I said Yes. I give a chance and hoping to be working on a relationship. That day I said yes before my birthday I considered him as a wonderful gift on my birthday. Yes, I’m a lucky girl at that moment! The feel of being in love every day is the best feeling ever. “ I wish it was never-ending” we exchange sweet messages that every couple does. Sharing your goals talk about the future and anything. You feel inspired always. so, a person, of course, I already fall in love with him. “Yeah, I’m the Marupok one!” Until one day after we met everything change. After we met he didn”t send me a message anymore until I decide to wait and talk to him what’s going on? Then the hurtful moment comes. The person that you love decided to fall apart. He\’s said he\’s not ready for commitment and he tells me that I deserve to someone else. Everything screwed up but I don’t have a choice I need to accept it. It’s hard on my part because I fell in love with him but he thinks we\’re not compatible. So I let him go because I’m not that kind of person to pleasing someone to stay for loving me. Yes, It’s fine I’m totally fine but it breaks my heart.
Okay, so I don’t want to end this drama confession. Despite this happen I decide myself stop to feel grieve. I don’t want to see myself suffering things that make me feel bitterness all day even though my heart is not okay as of this moment. I’ve learned a lot of things that can make me grow as a person.
Don’t rush things especially when you asking for someone who loves you back. We seek love because we feel alone but it doesn’t mean when you meet someone he’s the one. Well, he is!. Not all in a rush it can be successful but most of the time it became failure so stop rushing things it ends you toxic.
Love is not doing a favor. It\’s a kind of magic that no one can explain how it can be work so stop seeking and destroying someone’s life just to get your intentions. If you\’re not sure about your feelings think. Always think, always follow your heart that makes you feel happy stop hurting someone else stop begging if you don’t love you back. Learn to wait and always choose yourself.
Just breathe and let it go but we all know this is the hardest thing to do. but in the cruel reality, this is the best thing to do. It’s for your own good Yeah I know your a fragile like me but doing this thing it can make you feel happy and free so start doing it “SELF!!”
Okay, my last part of my e- speech. To the person who gave love with me in a very short time, I just wanna say thank you for sharing your love but it didn’t last. Don’t worry I’m not mad for what you did because I know you already did your part but it won\’t work. You chose career over me and I’m okay with that. I know you have goals in life and I’m not part of it so I don’t want to destroy it. The love didn\’t choose us. but I\’m happy I had a great time with you so this is it IT’S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE MY OLD SWEET LOVER and Thank you for your time. I wish you all the best!
If stars would align once more, I probably wouldn’t take it as a sign for love. I’ll stop my tracks before I reach the destination for a new heartbreak. I’ll just stand by a lamppost and take the first bus that comes, let it bring me to a place I’ve never been before. I’ll travel over mountaintops nobody’s eyes have ever laid upon, deep waters nobody has ever swam about, through galaxies, new moons and undiscovered stars. And perhaps, in that unfamiliar town heartbreaks don\’t exist, pain won’t catch up because I’ll never tell anyone of my whereabouts.
Who knew exhaustion can reach another level of tiring? You can only take so much of yourself before there’s nothing left. And sometimes we love and get lost, and we try our best to find ourselves but never succeed. You ask your questions over and over until they stop making sense. When did I stop being enough? How dare I believe you when you said you cared? You came with all your baggage and left me carrying it all. You used to tell me stories of your childhood, now you tell them to someone else. You gave my life meaning then take them all away. How dare I think that you’ll always need me, ask for me and want only me? How dare I become so stupid for you?
Reflection words by Peter Valadon
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